The Gifts of Letting Go

Letting go is an art, but even better, letting go brings gifts and benefits… and freedom.

Gifts of Letting Go

When I let go of the need to control circumstances, people and outcomes,

abundant good comes to me.

This can be called the Law of Allowing or the Law of Detachment. Learning to let go, is learning to better manage your most valuable resource which is “attention”.

My mantra today is “and my business is…”. When i find myself minding somebody else’s business today, I intend to stop myself, take a breath of life and say:” my business is….(focusing on my dreams)”

Try it

My business is…

My business is…

My business is…

You can fill in the space anyway you want. My business is focusing on my goals, my business is getting this done, my business is taking the next step, my business is completing this page…

 

Words Create Worlds

Words Create Worlds

“I spent my life folded between the pages of books.
In the absence of human relationships I formed bonds with paper characters. I lived love and loss through stories threaded in history; I experienced adolescence by association. My world is one interwoven web of words, stringing limb to limb, bone to sinew, thoughts and images all together. I am a being comprised of letters, a character created by sentences, a figment of imagination formed through fiction.”
― Tahereh Mafi, Shatter Me

At Home

Sustaining Presence

 

To be present is far from trivial. It may be the hardest work in the world. An forget about the “maybe”. It is the hardest work in the world – at least to sustain presence. And the most important. When you do fall into presence, you know it instantly, feel at home instantly. And being home, you can let loose, let go, rest in your being, rest in awareness, in presence itself, in your own good company. ~Jon Kabat Zinn

 

The Narrative Principle

What’s Your Story?

There is a principle of appreciative living, called “The Narrative Principle”. Telling a certain story, perpetuates that certain reality. In other words, the story perpetuates itself. Perhaps you know this as the “self-fulfilling prophecy”.

Imagine for a moment, that you meet a stranger, somewhere, perhaps a man, a woman, a child, a CEO, a student, the queen… You have 10 minutes to tell your story. The person is supportive, empowered and non-judgmental.

  • What is the essence of you? What is the story you will share/pass on?
  • Does your story change according to who you are speaking with?
  • Does your story change depending on your mood?

 What is the most natural perspective you adopt when telling your story? Is it a story of empowerment: “How I Am Making It”, full of appreciation and acknowledgement of the responsiveness of the universe? You have a choice. Do you make an impression on the stranger by telling a story of woe, of having no choices, making sacrifices and being a victim?

You can benefit from taking some time on a regular basis (even 5 minutes) to ask yourself: “What is my story?”

If you were to invest the next 5 minutes to answer this question and reflect on your answer… “What is my story?” Now write down, without pausing, “what is the story I am telling myself about my life?”

Perhaps you are doing this exercise now, and can see this moment as an opportunity to be present. Now you can take this opportunity to invest in your life, your experience and your story. Perhaps you feel too pressed to let go of whatever it is that is distracting you and choose to simply read this post. Perhaps it is not necessary to write down your answer, and you are nevertheless able to do this exercise/ practice telling a life-enhancing story in your mind. Whatever works for you is a good place to start.

Our personal stories, our narratives, the stories we tell ourselves reflect the meaning we give to circumstances, challenges and everything that is in our life. Your story has power, it has energy and it carries the essence of life. You can tell/begin to tell a story that is full of appreciation, that owns your power and your ability to find your passion, follow your passion, define your goals to embrace your passion and to notice that we are making a difference… This is the story that is appreciative and regenerative, generating more health, greater well-being and a better life.

Degenerative Narratives

A degenerative narrative comes from telling a story that is still stuck in the past and past misfortune. This might be part of the process of trying to resolve and turnaround such misfortune. However, when such narratives are told from the perspective of a victim, blaming others for what has happened (even if they might be responsible), seeking to convince (the listener) how one is justified in holding onto what one is holding onto.

Does your narrative reflect a Narcissistic Perspective? Your story is all about you, this is true even for appreciative narratives – but is it all about you only in terms of you being a martyr, and you needing the approval of others or based on what you own and other only material accomplishments?

Do you tell a story that disregards that you are making a difference, that you notice challenges and take the leap – that you make the most of what is but you down-size or negate your strengths? No one likes a boaster, but it is not necessary to be self-depreciative either.

The narrative you tell invites and connects with the “recipient”/listener on many levels. You may have heard the saying that “misery loves company”. While telling a miserable narrative might give sympathy and invite the other to tell a similar story, both reinforcing each others stories – this does not really create a win-win scenario.

The Appreciative Narrative

The great and encouraging news is that each moment is a new moment, in this moment you can choose whether you will tell an empowered story or not. No matter what story you have been telling, it is not the only story you tell… and you can always tell a better-feeling story. Even great stories get better when you continue building on its greatness.

Telling a disempowered story can still be the turning point when you choose to create even the slightest, smallest change –  and such changes in perspective will turn your life around. A good beginning is to write down 5 values/principles that enhance your life. Now tell your story and  use these values as part of your narrative. Write down a strength and let your story reflect this strength.

With practice, you will not only feel better but you will live better. Write down an affirmation, and bring this into your story. If you are more comfortable beginning with a written story, then begin by writing your story down.

Watching television, listening to others tell their story and reading, notice the life-building qualities of the stories of others. Notice where their stories reflect strength, transcending obstacles, making choices, mindfulness and taking responsibility. Play with your story and how it is different when you embrace such practices. Such narratives are all-embracing and don’t find it necessary to label things as right or wrong, good or bad, they are free of blaming and excuses and you do not need to justify your decisions.

Imagine a series of stepping stones. Place on each stepping stone insights, synchronicities, strengths, values and principles. If you stepped from stone to stone, where would that take you? Imagine the stones as being colorful, bright and firm and stable… imagine a calming sound in the background or an inspiring soundtrack (such as for Rocky or Chariots of Fire)… notice that as you step from stone to stone… word to word… sentence to sentence, you feel better and better. Savor these positive feelings as you reflect on your story.

Compassion: An Antidote to Anger

Compassion Heals All

The nectar of compassion is so wonderful. If you are committed to keeping it alive, then you are protected. What the other person says will not touch off the anger and irritation in you, because compassion is the real antidote for anger. ~Thich Nhat Hanh

 

I believe that self-compassion and even compassion for others is the ability to find the blessing in the burden. What we are really doing is changing our perception and this comes from finding something to appreciate.

What is compassion?

Compassion is a quality of awareness that combines identifying with another’s feelings (i.e., empathy) while understanding the position the other is in.

Inherent in the definition of mindfulness is non-judgment and another quality of it is “kind attention.” So as we cultivate a practice of nonjudgmentally placing kind attention on our own experience, we naturally begin to elicit feelings of self-compassion which then begins to flow outwards to others.

Read the original article on Compassion: An Antidote to Anger here…

Practice Quotes

Practicing Happiness

Our happiness depends on the habit of mind we cultivate. So practice happy thinking every day. Cultivate the merry heart, develop the happiness habit, and life will become a continual feast.
~ Norman Vincent Peale

“There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and will be lost.”
― Martha Graham

“I believe that we learn by practice. Whether it means to learn to dance by practicing dancing or to learn to live by practicing living, the principles are the same. In each, it is the performance of a dedicated precise set of acts, physical or intellectual, from which comes shape of achievement, a sense of one’s being, a satisfaction of spirit. One becomes, in some area, an athlete of God. Practice means to perform, over and over again in the face of all obstacles, some act of vision, of faith, of desire. Practice is a means of inviting the perfection desired.”
― Martha Graham

In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is.

I know you’ve heard it a thousand times before. But it’s true — hard work pays off. If you want to be good, you have to practice, practice, practice. If you don’t love something, then don’t do it. ~ Ray Bradbury

7 Mini-Mindfulness Practices

Thankful Ways

Our lives are characterized by multiple responsibilities and we all need to learn to better navigate change on a regular basis. To keep up with what needs to be done and to continue to learn, expand and grow, we need regular practices to become present to the present in the present. Below you will find 7 simple yet powerful and empowering mojo moments to get you in the zone, renew your energy and optimize your performance.

1. One Minute-Zen

The breath is the quickest way to connect to your presence in the present. Shift your attention gently to your chest and notice it’s movement. Now shift your focus to your in-breath while at the same time observing the rise and fall of your chest as you inhale and exhale. Relax into this gentle dance of your breathing for a minute. End this one minute practice with a statement of appreciation.

2. Mindful Observation

This exercise is simple but incredibly powerful. Allow your gaze/memory and awareness to scan your surroundings or memory bank. Focus on something that appears naturally, such as a flower, an inspiring sky, flowing water – whatever you connect with positively. Enjoy this appreciative experience for a minute or so, bringing your attention more fully into this vision. Notice the positive feelings generated in your body.

3. Touch point Experiences

What are some of the things that make up a regular part of your daily experience? These might be physical experiences that engage any of your physical senses. This may be an action such as picking up a book, opening the fridge or turning the faucet of a tap. The points of connection might be ‘mental’, having their point of origin in your thoughts – this may involve bringing to mind a particular memory (positive or not). Take a moment to write down any single statement of appreciation that will serve as a connecting touch point. For the rest of the day, each time you engage the particular physical or mental touch point, recall the connecting touch point to add new harmony into your experience.

4. Appreciative Listening

This is the same as appreciative self-observation. Think of something that you did during the course of the day. It might have been that you took a shower, or walked a little, went up stairs, prepared a meal, or spoke to someone. At the same time, listen to your self-talk, your own inner voice and what you are telling yourself about this ‘event’ or moment in time. Notice the softer parts of your voice, signs of compassion and ease. Relax into the rhythm and imagine that it is becoming synchronized to some gentle flowing sound, bird song, the lapping of waves, or the sound of flowing water. This can be any sound you appreciate. Notice how you feel more relaxed when you do this

5. Be More Fully Present to a Regular Activity

Take a regular activity that you don’t usually give much conscious attention to and experience it in a new way. For example, in the next ten minutes, pause at some action/activity, even the activity of thinking while sitting, standing up or reaching for something. Take a breath or two and as you let out your breath, observe yourself doing what you do. Savor the moment, at the same time bringing to awareness anything you are thankful for.

6. The Big Five

This is my favourite mojomo. What you need to do is to pause, take in a deep breath, let it out… and then turn your attention to what is present in the present. Relax and open your awareness to notice five things in your day that you may not usually notice. Engage your senses, see what you see, hear what you hear and connect to the present in a more appreciative way. Look beyond where conditioning might distract you from an appreciative perspective.

You may notice a flower, a scent, a smile or simply a sense of spaciousness and well-being. Enhance the positive sensations that you are connecting to.

7. Thankfulness

This final mini-meditation is one of simple and at the same time recharging gratitude. Think of 5 things you are grateful for. Write these down. Read each of these ‘gratitudes’ out loud one by one.

Happiness Can Be Redefined

Happiness Can Be Redefined

Happiness Can Be Redefined

:::::::::::::::::::::::::

 

Happiness can be redefined.

If you have become confused by the definition

of happiness because you have listened

so long to what others say it is and it isn’t,

the first place to look is within.


Top 7 Possibility Quotes

Possibility Rules

Possibility Rules

I cultivate a sense of possibility,

I have done many things that 

people have said cannot be done!

1. Rich Possibilities

If there is any period one would desire to be born in, is it not the age of Revolution; when the old and the new stand side by side…when the glories of the old can be compensated by the rich possibilities of the new era? This time…is a very good one…

~Ralph Waldo Emerson

2. Making the invisible, visible

The future belongs to people who see possibilities before they become obvious.

3. The Passionate Sense of Potential

If I were to wish for anything, I should not wish for wealth and power, but for the passionate sense of potential — for the eye which, ever young and ardent, sees the possible. Pleasure disappoints; possibility never.

~Soren Kierkegaard

4. Possibility Thinking

An optimist is a person who sees only the lights in the picture, whereas a pessimist sees only the shadows. An idealist, however, is one who sees the light and the shadows, but in addition sees something else: the possibility of changing the picture, of making the lights prevail over the shadows.

~unknown

5. Appreciate Meaningful Coincidences

When you live your life with an appreciation of coincidences and their meanings, you connect with the underlying field of infinite possibilities.

~Deepak Chopra

6. Possibility is a Paradox

The most exquisite paradox… as soon as you give it all up, you can have it all. As long as you want power, you can’t have it. The minute you don’t want power, you’ll have more than you ever dreamed possible.

~Ram Dass

7. Open Your Heart

So the best thing is to really work on yourself and opening your own heart and just letting all that stuff go. And it is possible.

~Alice Walker